I’ve met some jerks over my time in SL that insisted I speak in order to prove I’m female. First, I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Second, if hearing my voice is a requirement in order to be my friend, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out LOL. I’m mean I know.That point about being asked to prove that you're female is interesting. Sometimes you do have to prove something. Does your guy know for 100% certain that you really are a girl? All he has to go on is mutual friends' words that they've heard your voice, and maybe you're all in it together. For that matter, are you sure he's not a woman acting out a fantasy?
(That's a hypothetical example, by the way. I'm not actually suggesting that Cen is lying to her bf or vice versa.)
Maybe this is wrong of me, but I do respond differently to people based on their RL gender. I like to flirt, it's fun and harmless, but I am not comfortable going any further with someone who I know is male in RL.
Maybe only 10% of the female population of SL is transvestite, but that's enough to make me want to seek a little assurance before anything happens. I certainly wouldn't ask a female avatar to prove herself right after meeting, but I might well at some point in our friendship.
I think female players, need to understand that we, as male players, sometimes feel like we are walking through a minefield where the mines don't blow you up, but have remarkably deep voices and large hands.
Lastly, I'll just add that I have absolutely no problem with TV avatars themselves. Two of my best friends in SL are TV, and we get on like a house on fire. I also have a girl alt who mostly comes out to test furniture poses these days but used to be an RP character. So TV avatars are a-ok with me, and you certainly don't have to prove your boob credentials to be my friend, as long as it's understood that I'm not comfortable interacting with a TV avatar in any way that I wouldn't interact with a guy.
Am I a chauvinist? A sexist? A bigot? A homophobe? I have abolutely no idea and would be interested in feedback.
4 comments:
If I'm only casual acquaintances with someone, I don't really think much about the gender behind the avatar. But if I become friends with that person, and we become close, I kind of want to know. I think it would change how I relate to that person, I'm sorry to say. If Cen turned out to be a guy [and believe me, if she were, she has the prettiest softest voice of any man ever!], I don't think we'd have the easy girl friendship that we have. Likewise, if Levi were a woman...well, we wouldn't be together. LOL We just wouldn't be. I may have fun and Cen and I are silly and play flirt with each other, but I am very much straight, and being with a woman - even if she has a male avatar - would not work for me.
So I don't see the problem with hearing someone on voice just to make sure, but I would NEVER NEVER request it of someone that I barely know just to make them prove themselves to me. That's just rude. But if I'm growing closer to someone and I have doubts... I may casually suggest it. :)
Wow, I can ramble like no one's business at 4 in the morning. LOL
Good points Penn.
Like most everyone else, the person behind the av doesn't matter to me unless we've become close. In that, I just want to know with whom and what I'm dealing with.
And no, I've never heard Cen's voice and she hasn't heard mine. I'm just going to have to take Alicia's word for it.....lol
I'm really a woman in a man's avatar. And, ummm... my voice is really deep because I have had this perma-cold so it's like ummm... a frog in my throat since I turned ummm, like 14 or 15.
...and, ummm, I can't like, you know, explain my hands.
;)
I don't care about the gender behind the keyboard either. It's only when the two genders don't match and a serious relationship develops (between ANYONE) that I become concerned and actually look way down on.
Cen's sweet. I joke and harass her and others openly, but we both know it's avatar to avatar and there's nothing RL about it. So if she has a hairy chest in RL, more power to her. Wait, did I just say that? o.O
LOVE YOU CEN! ;)
Point: When it becomes intentionally deceitful where a relationship builds (and those happen before you know it) and it is continued.
That is when it becomes a lie and all kinds of wrong.
All very good points Penn.
The "jerks" I was referring to are the ones that insist on some proof within the first 20 minutes of meeting me and are probably just after one thing anyway.
With my friends, it doesn't bother me in the least if I ever hear their voice, or if they portray a gender other than what they are. However, I'd prefer to remain under the illusion of the gender they are portraying I think.
There was one exception where someone deliberately betrayed me. A man who I did not care for created a female alt and pretended to be a new player to get close to me. That situation upset me because it was about purposeful deception, not gender.
*hugs* at least you agreed to be my friend without proof Penn :)
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